You wouldn’t find this through eHarmony

Posted on March 25, 2010

In this era of finding true love through Internet matchmaking, I began wondering how my hubby and I would have fared if we’d left it to survey monkeys, chat rooms, or preference evaluations. Odds are pretty high we’d never have found each other.

One case in point – our age. While I was donning knee socks and Bass Wejans in junior high, he was on a Navy command ship in Vietnam’s Gulf of Tonkin. Had he tried to date me during high school, my father would have politely pointed a Winchester at his privates and told him to pluck some other young blossom.  

And, Hubby is a silent rogue, former hard-drinking, country cowboy from a frontier town of 200. I grew up a naive, city-slicker social butterfly whose graduating class had over 1,200 students.

 Of course age and statistical area alone shouldn’t dictate a hard time hooking up, but it gets worse. I tried to think of the major categories determining compatibility and we’d flunk almost every one. It’s basic black and white:

      CATEGORY                                        HERS                                               HIS                             

 MUSIC  Jazz. Blues. Light Rock.  Hard rock. Alternative
 LEISURE Biking, The Caribbean, Nat’l Western Stock Show -the food & shows, Movies or reading  Hiking, The Caribbean, Nat’l Western Stock Show -the livestock, Constant TV
 MONEY No need to save – assumes the universe will take care of all needs  Watches every penny fly out the front door as his 20–year financial plan disintegrates
 CHILDREN Makes babies cry just smiling at them / 2 kids were plenty Called the “Baby Whisperer” with ability to calm infants / 10 kids would be perfect
 WORK Loves job and wants to make a difference Working just cuts into fishing time
 RELIGION On a spiritual quest to find one’s true calling, meditates Believes in God, but goes to church for the free coffee and donuts
PHILOSOPHY Everything should be discussed; Less is better, unless its talking; Plays games for fun and to socialize The less said, the less trouble you get into; More is always better, unless its talking; Plays to win, but would rather not play

 Not exactly fodder for couple-dom.  And, I’m pretty sure Dr. Phil would caution against true bliss based on Caribbean vacations and cows. But, on the bright side, this 30-year marriage has worked precisely because we aren’t even close to compatible. We’re in rhythm because opposites attract. I’m the pie-eyed optimist. He’s the practical pessimist.  And it works.

 But, I’m not sure we’d have found each other if we hadn’t looked into each others’ eyes and felt the old heart flutter.  As you can see, there wasn’t much else pulling us together. So, if you don’t find a compatible companion through the internet, chances are your perfect mismatch may still be found the old fashioned way – tripping over his/her feet at a party.

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